It’s funny how life has presented me with recurring epiphanies about how I am in charge of my day, or maybe it’s a sign I need to pay more attention and apply what I have learned. Either way, I had a recurring epiphany this week when I was feeling stressed, discouraged, and like I just wanted to quit. The epiphany was this: I am in charge of my life and my well-being. No excuses. Period. End of story.
There were times this week where I felt miserable and frustrated. I was exhausted feeling this way and I wanted it all just to end and have peace of mind. I remember sitting in my truck at one point just trying to jump through whatever mental hula-hoops I thought would make me feel better, but the feelings persisted.
Finally, I just got angry about it. I remember thinking this is awful and I don’t deserve this! I then asked myself “What do you want more than anything right now?” I answered “I want to be rid of this anxiety and just feel calm and confident, have peace of mind, and go into the rest of the day with gratitude and compassion”. I immediately thought “Well then make it happen” and it clicked. I am in charge dammit and I am going to take back my life.
I tend to get into these mindsets where I view myself as the victim. I’m a victim of the random stresses and circumstances and challenges that come my way. Woe is me! I can’t control or predict any of it and it’s all hopeless. Self-deception is something humans have mastered, let me tell you. That is all bullshit. Every single bit of it. It’s almost like I relish in playing the victim role because it takes my power away and makes something or someone else responsible for my misery. NO! I am responsible for my misery.
It’s like it just hit me. I have all the power in the world to fill my day with love and enjoyment or fear and misery. I can’t blame anyone else for the kind of world that I am in and the kind of life that I have. I am in charge. I have the power. And while I can’t control the external circumstances, I can change my internal perception and that is where it’s at. The internal state is what sets the stage for everything else.
This paradigm shift continues to help me. I have had it multiple times and I keep forgetting it at times but I am so grateful it keeps coming back to me to slap me in the face. I can be quite stubborn but I am slowly but surely learning. I am the only one responsible for my happiness and my fulfillment. It’s me, and no one else. Once I understood this power, it’s like my whole external world shifted and became something no longer scary, but manageable. It became a world where I can succeed in, triumph in, love and embrace in. And that’s all it takes. Don’t let anyone take your power away from you, least of all yourself. You are creating each moment as it passes. Everything is ultimately filtered through you. You have the final say. Now go out there and show the world the badass that you are!!