I am endlessly chasing the carrot on a stick, the ever-receding rainbow, whether it be some arbitrary goal that I’ve set up for myself, or simply trying to be stable, avoiding conflict and the perceived disasters that life can throw at me. I tell myself that if only this thing will happen in my life,... Continue Reading →
I feel tired and groggy and a little nauseous today. I drank a little too much last night. This is my last day of Christmas vacation before starting my next travel nurse contract. It feels gloomy today, like a typical Sunday after a long weekend. It feels a little like being trapped, like I am... Continue Reading →
Today has been a good day. It’s a day I dream about when thinking about improving my mental health. Even though I went to work at a job I ultimately am not passionate about nor want to continue for much longer, my mindset was totally different. I don’t know if it’s the new medication but... Continue Reading →
I have this looming sense that I am bound for something greater than what life is providing right now. I feel like I’m sitting in a cold, dark waiting room, waiting for my turn on stage. Am I being pretentious? Is this entitlement? I don’t know, but I feel that there is so much inside... Continue Reading →
By humanity’s collective upward gaze, the top of a distant mountain takes on a mythical aura that is difficult to fathom. When we peer at a mountain’s peak from below, it breathes with the rule of an eternal force, unencumbered by the rhythm and flow of mortals. Its ascended stature emanates a holy presence and... Continue Reading →
Well, I quit my job with no other job in line. I gave my notice about a month ago and I am officially unemployed. Quitting my job with no backup plan is a frightening feeling. It feels like the sturdy ground that I have always known is loosening and breaking beneath my feet and I... Continue Reading →
Isn’t it curious how we can look back at old photos through the lens of the present and form a completely new world in our minds from the aesthetics of the past? I was thinking about this the other day. I was sitting in my truck outside of the gym randomly sifting through my old... Continue Reading →
Like so many, it has been a strange time as we slowly emerge, hopefully, from the worst of the pandemic. It was a long, difficult, lonely winter that held an extra bitter bite this year and the emergence of Spring is ever welcome! Spring has given me a new found hope and optimism towards the... Continue Reading →
There has existed a sinister feeling wafting forebodingly in the air throughout this past year working from home at my first real desk job of my career. It jolts out around every corner of quiet intermission between tasks on the computer and checking my emails. “This is not what I thought it would be.” “I... Continue Reading →
Today I endured the pain. Today I persevered through the agony. Today I pushed through the inner dialogue, the doubt and the ridicule. All screaming in my mind. I made it through. For the several hundredth time. I feel ashamed for being ashamed. I feel ashamed for not believing in myself when I prove I... Continue Reading →
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