I am endlessly chasing the carrot on a stick, the ever-receding rainbow, whether it be some arbitrary goal that I’ve set up for myself, or simply trying to be stable, avoiding conflict and the perceived disasters that life can throw at me. I tell myself that if only this thing will happen in my life,... Continue Reading →
I feel tired and groggy and a little nauseous today. I drank a little too much last night. This is my last day of Christmas vacation before starting my next travel nurse contract. It feels gloomy today, like a typical Sunday after a long weekend. It feels a little like being trapped, like I am... Continue Reading →
Today has been a good day. It’s a day I dream about when thinking about improving my mental health. Even though I went to work at a job I ultimately am not passionate about nor want to continue for much longer, my mindset was totally different. I don’t know if it’s the new medication but... Continue Reading →
I have this looming sense that I am bound for something greater than what life is providing right now. I feel like I’m sitting in a cold, dark waiting room, waiting for my turn on stage. Am I being pretentious? Is this entitlement? I don’t know, but I feel that there is so much inside... Continue Reading →
I feel like this past month has really tried my dignity, my sanity, and my overall strength to endure. It has felt spiraling and hopeless so much of the time, like I am being continuously buried in ash, unable to catch a glimpse of the sun. I just want to see the light. I just... Continue Reading →
Love is a Garden, And We Have the Exceptional Privilege of Being the Caretakers and Stewards of It. To My Love Bonnie, It was a somber, overcast sky in the early Seattle morning of April 10th, 2020. It was my birthday. I was 32 years old and driving back to my hometown of Chattanooga after... Continue Reading →
If we wait around to do something new until we are “ready”, then we will likely never do anything at all. I want to keep reminding myself of this truth. I start a job next week and I have been less than positive about it, even though it is a good opportunity. It’s my reintroduction... Continue Reading →
Recognizing myself as a victim of a traumatic past is an important initial step in processing and understanding my mental health, but I have realized that staying in a mindset of victimhood will only hold me back as I try to move forward and grow into a new life. Over this past summer, I have... Continue Reading →
Unrealistic expectations can be the death of joy as I have come to realize in my time off this summer. Plans will very often not go as expected, and that’s okay. That’s what makes life interesting and dynamic right? I thought that my time off between jobs would be filled with productive bliss as I... Continue Reading →
Some dreams tantalize us with the prospect of their reality before violently shoving us back into the real world, leaving us dazed and bewildered in a sea of disillusionment and reflection. Last night was one such night. I had another one of my recurring dreams where my family discovers that my grandfather is still alive.... Continue Reading →
selfgrowthhub.com 