I feel tired and groggy and a little nauseous today. I drank a little too much last night. This is my last day of Christmas vacation before starting my next travel nurse contract. It feels gloomy today, like a typical Sunday after a long weekend. It feels a little like being trapped, like I am... Continue Reading →
I feel like this past month has really tried my dignity, my sanity, and my overall strength to endure. It has felt spiraling and hopeless so much of the time, like I am being continuously buried in ash, unable to catch a glimpse of the sun. I just want to see the light. I just... Continue Reading →
If we wait around to do something new until we are “ready”, then we will likely never do anything at all. I want to keep reminding myself of this truth. I start a job next week and I have been less than positive about it, even though it is a good opportunity. It’s my reintroduction... Continue Reading →
Well, I quit my job with no other job in line. I gave my notice about a month ago and I am officially unemployed. Quitting my job with no backup plan is a frightening feeling. It feels like the sturdy ground that I have always known is loosening and breaking beneath my feet and I... Continue Reading →
There has existed a sinister feeling wafting forebodingly in the air throughout this past year working from home at my first real desk job of my career. It jolts out around every corner of quiet intermission between tasks on the computer and checking my emails. “This is not what I thought it would be.” “I... Continue Reading →
Today I endured the pain. Today I persevered through the agony. Today I pushed through the inner dialogue, the doubt and the ridicule. All screaming in my mind. I made it through. For the several hundredth time. I feel ashamed for being ashamed. I feel ashamed for not believing in myself when I prove I... Continue Reading →
Six months ago, my anxiety was through the roof and I desperately sought therapy for help. It was the first time I tried face to face therapy and it was a plunge out of my comfort zone. Fast forward to this past month and I told my therapist that I think I am no longer... Continue Reading →
Acceptance initially feels like admitting defeat. Acceptance feels like you are throwing your arms up in the air and shouting “Okay fine, have it your way!”. Acceptance is often misunderstood, as it's not saying you don’t want to change your circumstances. Acceptance is admitting that there are things outside of your control, and to let... Continue Reading →
Acceptance is the silent song I try to play to myself each day. Each day I am getting better at putting the notes together and creating something beautiful in the process. This past week or so, I have felt a little lighter than I normally do. The air doesn’t feel quite as thick and the... Continue Reading →
Today was a hard day. There’s no romanticizing this experience. Despite the fact that I was brave and strong and courageous and resilient…. At the end of the day, it just feels like I am left with a pile of sand running through my fingers. All of that strength….so I can do it all over... Continue Reading →
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