Today I endured the pain. Today I persevered through the agony. Today I pushed through the inner dialogue, the doubt and the ridicule. All screaming in my mind. I made it through. For the several hundredth time. I feel ashamed for being ashamed. I feel ashamed for not believing in myself when I prove I... Continue Reading →
Choosing to Tell A Better Story About My Life and Circumstances
Spring is finally in the air and there is a sense of a new beginning echoing through the blooms and the colors as I gaze out upon the emerging life of flowers and insects. Nature is waking up again. I feel like there is a fresh start, indeed a revival, upon us singing fruitfully in... Continue Reading →
Feeling Uncomfortably Comfortable: A Reflection on The Comfort Zone
Six months ago, my anxiety was through the roof and I desperately sought therapy for help. It was the first time I tried face to face therapy and it was a plunge out of my comfort zone. Fast forward to this past month and I told my therapist that I think I am no longer... Continue Reading →
A Revitalizing Hint of Spring in February
This winter season has felt particularly cold and brutal to me. I can’t be the only one. I’m not just talking about the temperature, but the actual isolating dynamic of winter. Maybe it’s because I work from home now and in the past few months it has been a struggle when I get off work... Continue Reading →
Last Night Was A Hard Night
Last night was a hard night. I awoke at 2 am to my partner, the love of my life, in absolute agony. I can still hear her cries of pain. She was in the throes of a violent migraine. She has a neurological condition and migraines are a frequent occurrence. This one was particularly bad.... Continue Reading →
Accepting and Adapting to the Seasons of Life
Acceptance initially feels like admitting defeat. Acceptance feels like you are throwing your arms up in the air and shouting “Okay fine, have it your way!”. Acceptance is often misunderstood, as it's not saying you don’t want to change your circumstances. Acceptance is admitting that there are things outside of your control, and to let... Continue Reading →
Learning Radical Acceptance
Acceptance is the silent song I try to play to myself each day. Each day I am getting better at putting the notes together and creating something beautiful in the process. This past week or so, I have felt a little lighter than I normally do. The air doesn’t feel quite as thick and the... Continue Reading →
Today Was A Hard Day
Today was a hard day. There’s no romanticizing this experience. Despite the fact that I was brave and strong and courageous and resilient…. At the end of the day, it just feels like I am left with a pile of sand running through my fingers. All of that strength….so I can do it all over... Continue Reading →
Meeting the Challenges and Uncertainty of Life Head On
Tomorrow I start my new job, in a new place, and in the middle of downtown Seattle. I am by myself on the opposite corner of the country from my hometown. This place feels notably different from the last few places I have worked. For one, I am right near downtown and I am starting... Continue Reading →
The Subtle Art of Being Alone With Your Thoughts
I think back over the past decade and can’t help but think about how much time was spent on my phone. It’s astonishing if I think about it. Communication and distractions on phones take up a large chunk of our lives and have fundamentally changed the routine of our days and our interactions with our... Continue Reading →