There has existed a sinister feeling wafting forebodingly in the air throughout this past year working from home at my first real desk job of my career. It jolts out around every corner of quiet intermission between tasks on the computer and checking my emails. “This is not what I thought it would be.” “I... Continue Reading →
Today I endured the pain. Today I persevered through the agony. Today I pushed through the inner dialogue, the doubt and the ridicule. All screaming in my mind. I made it through. For the several hundredth time. I feel ashamed for being ashamed. I feel ashamed for not believing in myself when I prove I... Continue Reading →
Spring is finally in the air and there is a sense of a new beginning echoing through the blooms and the colors as I gaze out upon the emerging life of flowers and insects. Nature is waking up again. I feel like there is a fresh start, indeed a revival, upon us singing fruitfully in... Continue Reading →
Six months ago, my anxiety was through the roof and I desperately sought therapy for help. It was the first time I tried face to face therapy and it was a plunge out of my comfort zone. Fast forward to this past month and I told my therapist that I think I am no longer... Continue Reading →
This winter season has felt particularly cold and brutal to me. I can’t be the only one. I’m not just talking about the temperature, but the actual isolating dynamic of winter. Maybe it’s because I work from home now and in the past few months it has been a struggle when I get off work... Continue Reading →
Last night was a hard night. I awoke at 2 am to my partner, the love of my life, in absolute agony. I can still hear her cries of pain. She was in the throes of a violent migraine. She has a neurological condition and migraines are a frequent occurrence. This one was particularly bad.... Continue Reading →
Acceptance initially feels like admitting defeat. Acceptance feels like you are throwing your arms up in the air and shouting “Okay fine, have it your way!”. Acceptance is often misunderstood, as it's not saying you don’t want to change your circumstances. Acceptance is admitting that there are things outside of your control, and to let... Continue Reading →
Acceptance is the silent song I try to play to myself each day. Each day I am getting better at putting the notes together and creating something beautiful in the process. This past week or so, I have felt a little lighter than I normally do. The air doesn’t feel quite as thick and the... Continue Reading →
Today was a hard day. There’s no romanticizing this experience. Despite the fact that I was brave and strong and courageous and resilient…. At the end of the day, it just feels like I am left with a pile of sand running through my fingers. All of that strength….so I can do it all over... Continue Reading →
Step one to solving any problem is admitting you have a problem, right? It seems so basic and yet can be so elusive if we lose focus. I was talking to my therapist this week about my anxiety and I told him that this week has been a decent week for me with managing stress... Continue Reading →
